it just breaks my heart

Will had his 12 month doctor's appointment on Wednesday and here is what we found out:

• Weight: 22 lbs, 9oz (40-45%)
  
• Length: 31.5 inches (90-95%)
  

*side note: At 12 months, Michael was 22 lbs, 8oz - and 31.75 inches... I'd say he didn't get this from me*

• Head: 19 inches (90%)
• Few teeth on top AND bottom popping through
• Both ears inflamed
  
• Elevated WBC
• Friggin' hates shots.
  

So.. we thought he was teething since he was drooling and snotty for like a month, but we didn't see any teeth popping through. She apparently saw quite a few coming in but taking their sweet time. She prescribed him Amoxicillian again for his ears, and maybe the two of them together explains why he has been RIDICULOUS for the last month.. I'm talkin, whiny, clingy, waking up at night, little pissy pants.

He got 4 shots total (2 in each leg) and today I get a call right at the end of school from his daycare.

I feel like I stopped breathing for a few seconds. I never want to get a call from daycare.

He had a fever of 103.7.. that seems pretty high to me. You know what the doctor said???

"don't worry until it gets close to 106."

106?! That's like burning brain cells hot. WTF. Anyhow, I went to get him ASAP and this is where I could have started crying.

He was being held by one of the ladies who work in the infant room in the rocking chair, and he was passed out asleep on her chest. He didn't even wake up right away when we started rubbing him or saying his name. And, once he woke up, he just stayed laying on her chest and didn't even react to me being there. His eyes looked glassy and he looked so pitiful. She had taken off his clothes because he felt so hot, and when I picked him up, he was ROASTING. I have never felt him that hot. I felt like a terrible mom. I didn't even send him with Tylenol..

So, I did what any good mom would do.. I called my mom and said she needed to come to my house. I got Will home, took his temp and it had lowered to 102.7. I gave him some Tylenol, and then some ice water mixed with apple juice just to get him some sugar. He looked so pitiful that I thought pancakes would cheer him up so I heated them and gave him 2 bites and.....

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH throw up. Everywhere. Projectile. Straight out of a horror movie throw up. And I felt like I was in slow motion watching it.. like "is this really happening right in front of me?!"

So then I freak out because he was so upset because obviously he felt like ish, and I had just given him Tylenol and he goes and throws up. Do I give him more? What if he overdoses?! The nurse at our pediatrician said to hold off and instead try a luke warm bath.. luckily by this time my mom had arrived and took over so I could go back to school for open house (which sucks by the way. I hate open house.)

Anyway, fast forward to that night when I get home and I find Michael upstairs rocking Will and he still feels hot and is falling asleep on Michael's chest.. which by the way, is the sexiest thing ever.. ANYWAY. Again, my heart melted. We put him in his crib and for about 10 minutes he laid in a fetal position just whining every once in a while. So sad.

He's asleep for now, and I guess we'll wake him up to give him some more medicine tonight. I just hope he feels better tomorrow :(

Hush my love now don't you cry
Everything will be all right
Close your eyes and drift in dream
Rest in peaceful sleep

Oh my love... in my arms tight
Every day you give me life
As I drift off to your world
Rest in peaceful sleep
-Creed "Lullaby"